A Vietnamese man with schitzoaffective disorder shoved a dollar bill in the power outlet in the wall. When asked why he did it. He said he was paying for his stay at the hospital. When back in the conference room... someone made a comment that he probably wanted to know if the bed shook if he put money in the wall.
A patient that came in on a drug overdose (apparently she's a frequent flyer to the psych unit)... she's on a drug called Diavan that is not commonly used, so someone asked "what's this Diavan she's on?"... the supervising physician says "That's what she'll be taking the the morgue when she succeeds at killing herself... get it, the Die-A-Van!"
Wow, were we in a sarcastic mood that day. I know it probably sounds horrible... but seriously, nothing like that is said in front of patients... and you really need something to joke about sometimes, it gets depressing in there otherwise.
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